The Undertaking (Audrey Magee) by Audrey Magee

Author:Audrey Magee
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Publisher: Atlantic Books Ltd
Published: 2014-02-05T22:00:00+00:00

‘Well, excuse me for disturbing your fine repast in this splendid dining hall.’

‘Piss off.’

He bowed, obsequiously.

‘And what will Mr Weiss have for his main course today? Fetid meat from a tin? Or would sir prefer a can?’

‘Shut up, Faber.’

‘No, you shut up. All of you shut up.’

‘Calm down,’ said Weiss.

‘No, I won’t. And stop telling me what to do, Weiss. You’re always telling me what to do.’

‘Act like a child, and I have to tell you what to do.’

‘You fucking don’t.’

‘Sit down,’ said Faustmann. ‘You’re wearing yourself out.’

‘I’ll do what the fuck I like, Faustmann. And I certainly won’t take orders from some half-Russian bastard.’

‘Right, Faber,’ said Weiss. ‘What’s the matter?’

‘Nothing.’

‘Out with it.’

‘I’ve just become a father. You could all have been a little more enthusiastic.’

‘Jesus, Faber,’ said Faustmann. ‘We said congratulations. What do you want? Baby booties?’

‘That would be a start.’

‘Fine. I’ll find some at the baby boutique in the next village.’

‘Leave it, Faustmann,’ said Weiss. ‘Look, Faber, everybody is tired. You’ve had a baby, congratulations. Can we go back to our food, please?’

‘You do that.’

‘Jesus, Faber.’

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